Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
When did angry sex become our thing?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize