Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize