And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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