i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
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I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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