Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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