I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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