she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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