i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize