I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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