I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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