This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize