And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
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I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
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Someone came in the potted fern
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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