Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize