it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
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she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
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I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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