You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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