oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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