my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
This baby is an asshole
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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