Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
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Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
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There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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