You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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