I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
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