i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize