so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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