My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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