Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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