He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
