i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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