im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize