I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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