we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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