Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
You're my little dorito
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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