so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
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You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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