I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize