Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
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I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
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Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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