Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize