all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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