I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
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Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
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Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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