so that wasnt chicken after all
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize