Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize