I'm so fucking centered right now
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
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When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
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I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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