Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize