She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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