We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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