My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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