Texts From Last Night

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  (417): View more from Missouri

  No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.

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  (417): No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times. http://tfl.nu/xlrm
  Replies (6) Good night (1222) Bad night (338) Order T-Shirt
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  (212): View more from New York

  so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.

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  (212): so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is. http://tfl.nu/r3y5
  Replies (8) Good night (737) Bad night (1363) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.

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  (484): At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town. http://tfl.nu/jjq0
  Replies (82) Good night (6240) Bad night (622)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...

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  (610): Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon... http://tfl.nu/ozcp
  Replies (7) Good night (778) Bad night (4857)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.

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  (+27): I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake. (+27): I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better. http://tfl.nu/rfir
  Replies (39) Good night (4071) Bad night (1459)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her

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  (206): You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her http://tfl.nu/auxf
  Replies (6) Good night (3415) Bad night (1563) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"

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  (519): we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault" http://tfl.nu/rtah
  Replies (7) Good night (4618) Bad night (800) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.

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  (805): She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds. http://tfl.nu/ggeo
  Replies (4) Good night (1458) Bad night (486) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.

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  (+44): We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies. http://tfl.nu/dl0c
  Replies (5) Good night (1179) Bad night (778) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs

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  (519): The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs http://tfl.nu/wzfm
  Replies (4) Good night (1341) Bad night (519) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.

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  (647): Think I pulled my pelvic muscle. (416): I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle. http://tfl.nu/mzl9
  Replies (6) Good night (1859) Bad night (516)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.

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  (517): I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level. http://tfl.nu/jhvn
  Replies (12) Good night (1533) Bad night (643) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3

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  (505): Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3 http://tfl.nu/ef92
  Replies (5) Good night (609) Bad night (880)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.

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  (541): He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans (503): Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants. http://tfl.nu/h1iw
  Replies (7) Good night (1208) Bad night (244)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.

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  (203): I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was. http://tfl.nu/rzaa
  Replies (3) Good night (748) Bad night (216)

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