I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize