You're so nebulous sometimes
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize