Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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