we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize