Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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