def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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