You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize